This article is part of The Twelve Days of Doofmas, a daily series of articles on our favorite Christmas films that was released as Bonus Content leading up to Christmas Eve 2019.
It’s that time of year where people start making the exact same joke. You know Die Hard? That really manly movie about a guy who shoots Snape, or whatever? That’s actually a Christmas movie. Let’s all agree – it’s a tired joke. It’s almost 2020 folks, lets find some new movies that people wouldn’t at first think are Christmas movies. Then, next time somebody asks what your favourite Christmas movie is, you’ll have a new terrible answer. You still won’t be funny, but hey – at least you’ll be original.
Batman Returns
I forgot this was a Christmas movie until I came across it recently. I’m not sure how I ever forgot. It’s so Christmas. The Penguin – delightfully played by Danny Devito – is abandoned AND makes his triumphant return on two Christmases 33 years apart. I should have known – this was the midst of Tim Burton’s Christmas phase (having just come off of Edward Scissorhands, and about to produce Nightmare Before Christmas).
Also opposing Batman is Michelle Pfeiffer in her ridiculous (but somehow still the best we’ve had) portrayal of Catwoman. She doesn’t have much to do, but plays nicely off of Christopher Walken as Max Shreck. Shreck is somehow both the strangest looking character, and also the only major character in the movie without a comic book origin. It seems Burton had mastered the aesthetic of a comic book movie.
All in all, this is a great movie, and a passable Christmas movie. High levels of snow and Christmas decorations abound, and one of the major sets involves a giant Christmas tree. There are lots of explosive presents and other Christmas themed weaponry. Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t try to impart many Christmas-themed morals, so it falls a bit flat there.
??? 3 out of 5 Christmas Trees.
“My favourite Christmas Movie is Batman Returns” if you love Tim Burton and Christmas but somehow don’t prefer The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Once Upon a Deadpool
When you search ‘Once Upon a Deadpool’ on Google, one of the top suggested searches is “Is Once Upon a Deadpool a real movie?” And let me tell you – that’s the vibe that this movie gives you. As someone who saw Deadpool 2 when it first came out, this movie felt like I was half-remembering it but also confusing it with a web short I saw once.
I will happily defend the Deadpool films, under the proviso that you only ever watch them once. Unfortunately, Once Upon a Deadpool is nowhere near different enough that I didn’t already feel the jokes coming. It hurt my very soul. Luckily, the original parts with Fred Savage were enough to make it not a completely horrible experience. As a big Princess Bride fan, the parody was fun (if a bit shallow).
I wouldn’t have thought that the R rating was necessary for Deadpool to work, but watching this movie made me miss the swearing and blood. Perhaps it was just that this movie was a shameless cash grab (I can still criticise it for this, even if the movie hangs a lampshade on it), but the way the more adult content was edited out made the movie lose its timing. Often a scene would cut abruptly, as a character went to punctuate a piece of action with some swearing, and it just felt… off.
Outside of the interstitial Fred Savage scenes to tie it together, this movie has very little Christmas in it. There are no presents, Christmas trees or candy canes. The only thing that saves it is that the theme of making a family is fairly core to the movie.
?? (2 out of 5 Reindeer)
“My favourite Christmas movie is Once Upon a Deadpool” if you want to quickly end a conversation you’re in, and don’t care about the friendships you lose along the way.
Shazam!
Shazam! brings up a recurring theme among these movies – if you’re a bad parent on Christmas, your child will turn into a supervillain. Like Batman Returns, we begin with a little prequel about Thad Silvana being verbally abused by his father on Christmas, and sure enough, he also becomes a villain (this time 45 years later). A good moral to all you parents out there – if you’re going to be mean to your children, for all of our sake, save it until the new year.
The comparisons to previous movies on this list doesn’t end there. Like Once Upon a Deadpool, our hero Billy Batson must learn to accept the family that he makes for himself. The difference is that this movie really sells its core message. Billy is a compelling character, as are most of the siblings surrounding him.
Perhaps the only place this movie falters is that it doesn’t quite stick the landing between its various themes. The seven deadly sins are interesting enough monsters, but never quite tie into the conflict that Billy and the family are having. Shazam and Silvana have a showdown revolving around Envy, but it feels a little un-earned. This movie feels like if it had an additional 5-10 minutes to link its themes together a little stronger, it would click together much more at the end.
This movie starts a little light on the Christmas themes, but really pulls it together as the movie progresses. Not only is the final showdown in a Christmas fair called Chilladelphia (sadly, fictional), but it manages to give you that Christmas feeling as Billy accepts and is accepted in his new home.
????? (5 out of 5 Santas)
“My favourite Christmas movie is Shazam!” if you enjoy nice wholesome family fun where young children battle their demons.
– Reuben
